What we say is only part of what others hear. Rick Hanson explains that communication also carries emotional subtext and messages about the relationship itself, making tone especially important in how everyday interactions unfold and, over time, how relationships develop.
Key Takeaways:
- Pay attention to tone: Small signals such as irritation, eye rolls, criticism, or exasperation can influence an interaction, while the brain’s negativity bias can make negative exchanges particularly impactful.
- Remember what you’re trying to accomplish: Before speaking, Hanson suggests considering whether the goal is to prove a point or vent, or instead to understand, empathize, strengthen the relationship, or solve a problem.
- Soft doesn’t mean silent: A gentler tone doesn’t require giving up honesty or assertiveness. Hanson argues that calm, accurate language can make it easier to say what needs to be said without creating additional conflict.
Rick Hanson offers small, simple practices for Resilience and Happiness
