The Habit That Stops You From Losing It Before You Even Walk in the Door

10% Happier podcast artwork

Host

Dan Harris

Guest

Dr. Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel and Dealing with Feeling

Emotion regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings or leaving them at the door.

Returning guest Dr. Marc Brackett explains how we can prepare for emotionally charged situations before they happen, including a simple doorknob habit he uses before entering his own home and a five-step process for creating space between a feeling and our response.

Key takeaways include:

  • Regulate before the difficult moment: Brackett introduces proactive regulation, preparing yourself emotionally before walking into situations where you know stress, frustration, or other strong feelings may arise.
  • Create a Meta Moment: His five-step process, Sense, Stop, See your best self, Strategize, and Self-assess, offers a practical way to interrupt automatic reactions and choose how you want to respond.
  • Different emotions need different strategies: Brackett emphasizes flexible regulation, recognizing that overwhelm might call for a micro-break, anxiety for self-talk, and relationship difficulties for perspective from someone you trust.

Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris offers practical tools and expert conversations for a calmer, more mindful life. New Episodes air every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

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